Today I am struggling.
Today I don't feel God's presence. I don't feel cherished or protected. I feel lost in the depth of darkness, unsure if light will ever break through.
And here I am picking up blocks and dolls for the fifteenth time today and God chooses this moment to speak to the depths of my heart. In my desperation I call out to him "God, are you even there?". Like a rushing wind the words "Our God is bigger" penetrates the cracked corners of my shattered heart.
Our God is bigger.
Our God is bigger than our circumstances.
Our God is bigger than those words spoken against us.
Our God is bigger than our finances.
Our God is bigger than the mess we have created.
Our God has victory over our depression.
Our God has already spoken our identity. That he is the only one who defines us.
Our God craves relationship with us and even in the inky darkness he is right there holding us.
Our God is comfort.
Our God will NEVER leave us or forsake us.
Our God passionately pursues us.
Our God is in control. He is in CONTROL. He has a plan. His ways are not our ways. He sees the big picture even when all we can see is the fog in front of us. In the midst of my trial he whispered this love to me.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1
Let's break that verse down a bit. The root of the word "dwells" is "remain". He who REMAINS in the shelter of the most high will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. In our trial, are we remaining in him? Or are our thoughts wandering to our heart ache. Are we obsessing over the trial or are we pursuing him as fervently as we normally do?
The word shelter means "a hiding place" or "covering". Do you know what that means? That means God is offering us his protection. A secret place where we can press into his love and be covered by his mercy. He who remains in the hiding place of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
Abide is the word that got to me. When I looked up abide it said, "pass through the night". Which stuck out to me for two reasons, first, night representing a time of darkness or trial and two, it is passing. Which means that our trial will not last forever. If we remain in his covering, we will pass through the night.
Lastly, the word shadow got me thinking. Often we view a shadow as a dark or scary thing. But let's remember our friend Jonah real quick,"Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. 6 Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant." Jonah 4:5-6
The Lord took compassion on Jonah, even when Jonah was having a temper tantrum. He, again, provided a covering to bring comfort.
He who REMAINS in the COVERING of the Most High will PASS THROUGH THE NIGHT in COMFORT of the Almighty.
Let's dwell on this. Let's remain in his ever lasting love, even when it is hard, even when we don't see what he is doing.
Grace and Peace