Advice For New Mommas
A little while ago, okay a couple months ago, we asked in our Natural Christian Mommas Community on Facebook if any of them had advice for new moms. We wanted experienced moms to be able to share their wisdom with one another and for new moms.
Here are some of their suggestions:
“Don't be ashamed to ask for help.” -Megan V.
“Someone once told me: three days in bed, three weeks at home, three weeks close to home, three months to establish breastfeeding, three years to establish Mother… The idea is to honor the postpartum period and give your body REST. This is a time of Sabbath and healing. Don’t rush it. Let others care for you as much as possible. I would personally throw in: three years to realize you don’t have to have everything figured out.” -Katlyn H.
“Just because the doctor only tells you one option doesn't mean that is your only option (ie; GD testing; multiple ways to do it that are acceptable and healthier for you). Ask questions. Be active in learning / seeking out all the information.” -Bethany C.
“You’ll have good days and bad days. Just because you have bad days doesn’t make you a bad mom. Tomorrow is another day!” -Kelli M.
“IBCLCs are not the same as the hospital lactation consultants. They can change your experience 100%.
It is not your responsibility to please others around you. Don’t parent your children to gain approval. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. Breastfeeding in public is 100% legal and not sexual in any way. You are not responsible for another person’s feelings. 6 weeks is not a magical number. You do not have to be up and running by that point. Guard that 4th trimester.” -Carrie D.
“You can say no to visitors! I was EXHAUSTED entertaining, letting other people hold my new baby because they 'couldn't wait' & I had a hard time saying no. The next time around no visitors til 6 weeks was incredibly bonding for our family & guess what -- baby was still tiny & cute at 6 weeks & I didn't have to share her with every single person who wanted to come hold the baby & leave when they started to cry/wake up to feed.” -Jessica G.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground and say no if needed. I wish I would’ve known that my voice matters. And I have the right to choose. I also wish I would’ve known that the vitamin K shot isn’t really vitamin K.
“Motherhood is a blessing but it is so hard! Love yourself and take each day, day by day. Take care of yourself and take care of baby. House stuff can wait.” -April H.
“Let them make messes. It seems so small but it's something that gets over looked. And also, don't compare your kids to each other. They are all special and individuals.” -LeAnna R.
“Crying after you have a baby is normal but tell someone. Let someone comfort you and cry with you. Oh, and night sweats are normal too. Its just the hormonal dump, you aren’t actually melting.” -Anonymous
“It's ok to accept the help! You are not super woman and you don't need to be.” -Annette H.
“Don’t watch the clock. Trust your babies' needs and do what’s best for you both. I remember stressing about if he slept too much/too little, is he feeding too much/too little? Etc. I feel like I missed a lot of sweet moments because I was worrying about it all constantly.” -Dana C.
“Do not make any big life decisions when newly postpartum. Everything feels huge and overwhelming and your hormones are all over the place.” -Anonymous
“Stand up for yourself. Question everything. Research everything.” -Annalise R.
“Try nursing your newborn vertically, belly button to belly button. I got this advice from a La Leche League leader and it absolutely SAVED ME with my first. It positions baby to open their jaw into a fantastic latch automatically. It still takes some practice, and you'll feel like you just stopped nursing before you're on it again. I started using this position immediately with my 2nd and 3rd babies; not single issue!” -Jessica A.
“Even people WITHOUT a history of depression or mental illness can get PPD and PPA. I convinced myself I didn't have them for a real long time because that's all I ever heard about...and I never had a history of depression. In fact, I didn't check ANY of the boxes to be at risk, and I still ended up with very severe PPD twice and PPA once.” - Anonymous
“When babies are born, they enter the fourth trimester. You are their normal. You are their safe space. They have spent all that time growing and knowing you in the closest way possible as what the world is, so when they arrive everything is so different except for you. So don't be alarmed when all they want to do is be close to you for what seems to be every minute of the day. You are their comfort zone.” -Joelle S.
“Give yourself GRACE; remember you and baby are both new at this and learning together. It's ok, you are writing your story... be quick to pray, cry out to the Lord he is your friend. And you cannot spoil a baby, hold that baby! Oh, and apparently hormones balancing will cause you to wake in the middle of the night freezing and wet and you will need new sheets because of the sweats.” - Allyson S.
“It's okay to feel overwhelmed. The transition is hard and everything changes. Take it moment by moment and don't be afraid to ask for help.” -Joelle S.
“YOU MATTER. I know everyone is worrying about your beautiful baby, buying the baby presents, and celebrating the baby, but you are becoming something completely new too. You matter. Make sure you are drinking enough water and eating enough nourishing food. Be gentle to your body and your spirit. You’re a whole new person now and its okay for it to take a while to find yourself again.” -Anonymous
“Something from those early postpartum days that stands out amidst the blur include the words of our midwife. She said that even though my first birth didn't go at all as planned, that didn't mean the next one had to be the same way.” - Elissa W.
“I would suggest every mama to talk to someone to process their birth (a therapist of some kind) because we could all use a mental check in, and help processing no matter what type of birth we had. I also would tell her to make an after birth plan, complete with friends to call, family to babysit, and people to bring meals. It’s way easier to create your village before you have baby then waiting till after.” -Leann A.
“I know you want to spend all your time preparing all the cute baby things, but also spend time planning things to care for your body. Make a snack basket and buy a reusable water bottle to keep next to your bed. Buy a postpartum herbal bath and a peri spray. Make a stash of frozen meals. Have big comfy pants, soft t-shirts/tanktops, and a robe. Do not be embarrassed to buy adult depends! They're more comfy than giant pads. When people ask what you need be honest with them!” -Anonymous "A healthy baby is not all that matters. You matter. Your experience matters."